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It was time for bed. Our same routine of pjs, soft music, and lights out. The time of the day when everything slows down, and it’s just me and my daughter, connecting and talking as she trails off. She always saves deep thoughts for bedtime because it buys her more awake time.

But this night was different. Her little face was scrunched and burdened. She opened her mouth, and out came, “Mom, Dad told me the truth about you. He said we’re not the same. Because one day, I’ll grow up to be a real woman, and that’s something you’ll never be.”

I was stunned. I didn’t know how to react. And before I could stomach a response, she abruptly followed with, “Mom, what’s abortion, and why does Dad say I need to like it?”

And with those words, I was transported.

My Pregnancy Was Unplanned, Not Unwanted

Sure, my pregnancy was unplanned, but my daughter was not unwanted. Just like the majority of women with unplanned pregnancies, I knew pregnancy wasn’t going to be easy. But I really did love my boyfriend. That’s why I thought he’d be shocked but happy when I told him I was pregnant. But that’s not what I got. When I told him the breaking news, he proceeded to engage in a full night of drinking.

After he was drunk, he got in my face and demanded I abort our child. I don’t know how I mustered the courage, but I told him under no conditions would I abort. I had been pregnant before and had chosen adoption for my son. If I could go through that, there’s no way in hell I would eliminate this child. To my surprise, he backed down and never threatened me with abortion again. And I’m embarrassed to say this, but I felt lucky. I had friends who were forced to abort by their partners, but thankfully, that was not going to be my story.

However, our relationship did not stand the test of time. And when our daughter was one, we split.